You see me,you know me and you still choose me….

Intimacy is derived from the Latin word Intima meaning “inner” or “innermost”. Inside each of us lies our intima; the deepest core of our person . Intimacy means deeply knowing another person and feeling deeply known.It is the ability for the inner most, authentic part of us to be seen by others. I think it is safe to say that intimacy is a basic desire of every human being, we all desire to be known ,loved,heard,appreciated and accepted for who we truly are and when that happens, bonds of affection, trust, and loyalty develops. Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen in many relationships as the word intimacy can be very scary. Intimacy requires us to be vulnerable and open, and because of that people sometimes shy away from sharing their true self with others due to the fear of being rejected.

Intimacy is also known to be referred to as sex, although the words are often used interchangeably ,they are not the same, there is more to intimacy then just sex. You can have sexual relationship with someone and not feel close to them or have a real genuine connection, this is when you can easily disconnect with them because there was no real deep connection in the first place. Ideally, sex in a loving relationship should be the physical representation of intimacy and it should come from a place of love and connection. Although sex and intimacy are not the same the two are linked in such a way that intimacy can build sex and sex can build intimacy. There are countless ways to be intimate, and most of them aren’t sexual. Some of the most important intimate moments happen outside of the bedroom, for example spending an afternoon in with your spouse watching a movie, holding hands while you are talking and taking a walk at the park,going for an ice cream date,having a play date with your kids and cooking a favorite meal together , these are all experiences that can create intimate bonds.

There are times when we seek an emotional bond, the feeling of being accepted for ourselves,  sharing our happiness and tough times. We crave that state of being that is all about closeness, trust, and comfort. We want a special connection with another person at a deep emotional level, this is known as emotional intimacy. One of the requirements of being emotionally intimate, is the sharing of your emotions, personal details such as your thoughts and feelings or memories, especially those that may be difficult to expose to others. If you’re emotionally intimate with someone, you’re sharing all your feelings, secrets, and desires with them. They’re the person you can go to whenever you feel like talking about your feelings. It doesn’t have to be verbal, either. They can be your literal shoulder to cry on, or someone you can hug when you feel upset. Being emotionally intimate does require a high degree of trust. They’re someone you can trust with your secrets. In a way, emotional intimacy is one of the most important part of a relationship. If you can’t tell a secret to a friend because you don’t trust them, then why are you friends, If you can’t trust to express your feelings to your spouse, then why are you with them. It’s a cornerstone of all relationships.

This desire for intimacy with lovers and friends, to feel that we are not alone in the Universe, is innate in each of us but what we miss is that intimacy with others begins with intimacy with ourselves. All of your relationships are truly a reflection of you and who you really are. When you accept yourself, flaws and all you give courage to others to do the same. Spending time alone reflecting, loving, nurturing and being patient with yourself is essential for self-intimacy. We also need to spend time alone with ourselves to reconnect with who we are when we show up in relationships with others. The point of inner solitude is to provide a space to explore the pieces of yourself that you treasure or that you wish you could change. It is meant to be a space of self acceptance ,It is meant to be a space where you come home to your true self.

Whether it is emotional,sexual or self intimacy,intimacy is all about being seen and loved ,appreciated,accepted for all that we are. We all have an infinite source of self love and acceptance inside of us, find your way to access this Infinite source of you and radiate it outward. This will allow you to be seen and to have Intimacy with others because you will be seen for who you are within first. If you desire to finally be seen and known for who you are and develop Intimacy (into-me-see) with another in your life then take the time to see yourself first. Truly get familiar with the beauty that exists within you. Face your fears, open your heart and remember you are already WHOLE.